Posts Tagged ‘parent’

Children’s Clothing: Individuality and Setting Guidelines

Posted 26 Feb 2010 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Tidbits

Tight skinny jeans, hip hugging pants, and a tight shirt with a low neckline to boot, this doesn’t sound like the ideal outfit I’d want to see on my girls. What is going on with children’s clothing today? I understand the styles of today and agree the styles my teens and other young girls put together are very cute. Even though these outfits are cute and fashionable… I don’t want to see them on my girls or other young girls at all.

I can monitor what my children are wearing because I buy their clothes. However, when other teens and young girls are wearing what my girls wish to wear it does make my job harder. I appear to be the mean mom because I have standards for my girls. With these standards, in regards to children’s clothing, I know I have to decide which battles are worth fighting and which are not.

I set clear rules on what I expect of my children in regards to clothing, makeup, and piercings. They know I don’t want their pants being so tight that if I pinch at them I get skin as well as jean material. I don’t want to see their undergarments when they bend over in regards to low cut tops and hip hugging jeans.

Fashion and children will always be a battle for many parents. What are your limits or are you carefree and allow the kids to be individuals regardless of what items they choose to wear? What are your opinions on this matter? Are parents to lenient these days or am I just a big ole’ ninny? Please share your thoughts by commenting below.

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Teen Corner: Oh the Joys of Honesty!

Posted 21 Feb 2010 — by Robyn
Category Teen Corner

Flickr: kkimpel

I’m gonna share a true story about how being honest is better than hiding the truth. I know your probably rolling your eyes and shaking your heads in disbelief, but trust me being honest can save you and your parents A LOT of time and energy.

So as you may have guessed the story is about me. I have this history of telling fibs in order to dodge the consequences (as many of you out there have. Specifically about serious situations involving immature beings (boys). I recently had a problem with a kid that wanted to take being friends to a higher level. He was overly friendly and had bigger plans for the two of us. Plans that not only would and did get me into a tight spot, but cost me a moment of shame.

Now the first thing that came to mind was how to make it so my parents wouldn’t find out about him in any way. The second thing was what extent would I go to, to hide this from my parents? Was I willing to risk everything for a kid I wasn’t even really in to? Of course not! So I took a few nights to think it over and plan my confession, and I did and escaped with a firm lecture. They explained the dangers of lying, but they were also proud I had come to them before the situation got crazy.

So the moral of this tale is, if you  lie you’re not only making your dilemma greater, but you aren’t being any better than the problem itself! So what if you get your social life taken from you for a set amount of time, by being truthful you ‘re saving yourself from a boatload of trouble that would’ve come from one lie.

Parents, if you’re worried that your child might be hiding something from you take the time to approach them gently when encouraging them to come to you. When doing this, you’re making them feel a little bit better about his/her situation. We become more vulnerable to confessing as apposed to keeping secrets.

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Field Trip “result in injury/death” Disclosure

Posted 09 Dec 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Tidbits

My son has a series of field trips to go to, all to the same place, how exciting I thought to myself. I paid for it last week and signed my son’s life away as we parents do with all their school field trips. Seemed like some exciting trips. Not just one, but many field trips! The destination must have great lessons in store for my son.

Today I get a new form to fill out… Now I’m really to sign my son’s life away (see below):

Field Trip

 I hope that isn’t too blurry for you (I bleeped out the destination’s name for their protection I suppose)… basically this disclosure says that if my son dies or gets injured I don’t hold anyone responsible, although if my son destroys something during this field trip I’m held responsible! Come on now! He can die on their watch and it’s all good, but if he destroys something on their watch it’s not. What a mess!

Of course, I didn’t sign his life away. I permitted him to go and noted that if the activity can cause death that he must sit out!!! So what if he misses out on the good stuff. I can’t send him out to do the unknowing. ”Here my son, go do these activities that I read my cause you death!”  

Am I over reacting? I think not, but who knows. I understand we can die from car accidents, or from strange occurrences… but these are the unknown. I don’t sign a waiver everytime my kids get in a car or partake in a sport activity, because relativity these activities are meant to be safe. But this field trip is another story, they know the activities may be dangerous. I’m a ninny I agree, but this is too much for a regular parent perhaps. I sign forms like this when Renae is going under anesthesia for surgery. I get that, but this!

Parents what do you think? Would you sign this form or handle things the way I did? Please comment below because I really want to know what you would do after reading this field trip injury/death disclosure.

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Parents, Discipline Your Kids Please

Posted 04 Dec 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Educates

Parents, discipline your kids please! Walking around the grocery store getting a few last minute items for dinner, who would guess that my kids are causing trouble! I don’t get it one bit. Every time I take the kids with me to the store I get them a little snack or surprise. Why do they mess up on my clock or watch… however the saying goes! They wouldn’t be doing this if dad was around (See how well behaved below).

Discipline Your Kids

Jamarae, at 10 years of age, is being chased by Sinya, the eight year old. “No surprise for you two, that’s settled.” They’re now a bit calmer. Low and behold, less then five minutes later Robyn, the 13 year old, is chasing Sinya and pushed her down on the ground. “Are you serious!? You’re almost double the lil’ one’s age! No surprise for you either!” In the check out stand I grab a small bag of chips for Yissie, the two year old. Yissie is the only one half way acting right. I have both girls on strike, playing “shut-down mode” with me.

The checkout lady says, “Boy do they look mad.” I tell her, “they were acting up, and get nothing from me today.” Who would think the two year old would be the only one to get a treat. By the time we leave the store, Jamarae is fine. The girls are still in a mood. I have to remind them the longer they carry on their attitudes it hurts me none, just means I could keep the punishment going with chores and such. The act stopped soon enough. I must say that I enjoyed the quietness while they were in shut down mode. But there is a lesson in all of this. 

Discipline your kids! The kids got nothing from me. I could’ve given in, and given them a special surprise for later. Had I done that they would’ve never learned. Kids will be kids, but we parents have to be parents.

Have your children tried your patience while out and about? What do you do when they pull a fast one?

If you enjoy hearing my ramblings and advise about my children and yours, please subscribe to our updates by clicking here. Feel free to comment below. I love hearing from yall!

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Leave Robyn Alone

Posted 28 Nov 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Tidbits

Leave Robyn AloneAs you know my step-daughter has been with us the last three weeks due to recent troubles she is having at her mothers home. Well, if you remember correctly last time we tried this her mother showed up six days later with the police due to a change of heart. Well, now I received a text message yesterday from Robyn’s mother stating she would like to go back to her regular schedule again, which is Sunday through Tuesday every week.

All is fair, right? Her mom deserves her half the time! The issue is this… Robyn has way too much freedom at her mother’s home and much of her past is sure to catch up with her over there. I knew this was going to happen the moment Robyn was sent to stay with us full time. I knew this because of what happened the last time, and her mother showed signs of wanting her back at her home too soon. Robyn’s mother’s home is toxic for her in her current state of mind. Our baby isn’t ready to be in that environment.

Our family switched her school over to our area and she was barely settled. She was just starting to embrace being part of the house full time. I always do what I can to make the kids feel like this is just as much their home as it is ours. I try to teach them all to love each other the same amount even though some are with others more often then the other siblings. Ive noticed a recent change in which Robyn was embracing and showing a different love to all her siblings not to just the brother she is with all the time in both homes. I was proud of a new found kindness I’ve seen recently in her spirit. I seen a young lady growing up with tools that she has been missing. I was seeing a young lady who loves unconditionally and one who doesn’t hold on to anger… one who forgives. If nothing else this time here has helped her see that she equally needs us as much she needs her mother.

I’m thankful for the time we had with her and know all will be okay since I see her half the week. I’m just concerned that right now she needs a parent and not a friend. She needs guidance, and the last thing she needs right now is freedom. I feel like all of our hard work will amount to less then it would if we had a bit more time. I don’t want her to make the mistakes she has been making. I will keep hope and stay in Robyn’s ear. Nothing will change, but what she can get away with Sunday through Tuesday.

I’ll keep yall updated as we keep it moving. Any other parents who can relate please share your story in the comments below. To stay updated please subscribe to Reed What Matter’s updates by clicking here.

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Blended Families & Troubled Teens

Posted 25 Nov 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Tidbits
Renae & Robyn

Renae & Robyn

Blended Families

Blended families could be a tough one, especially in the child or teen’s case. “What is today? Oh, I belong at my moms today, and then tomorrow at my dads!” As if there isn’t enough of other things to keep track of, like homework, the latest trends, and other trivial teen things. My stepchildren are to be at our home Wednesday at 3pm till Saturday at 8pm. It works well, and we chose this schedule so both homes can instill morals into the children’s lives, and both parents can have a hand at the children’s future and learning process. 

Communication has been an issue in the past, and will probably continue to be an issue. My husband doesn’t get much response when trying to parent with his children’s mother, but each day is a new day. We take one step at a time. Team parenting can get difficult when those who parent together, yet live different lives, have opposite views and parenting skills and views. It seems this has benefited my teen step-daughter in having things her way, however, made it worse for her because she has gotten herself into too much trouble these last few months.

Change for the Best

My teen step-daughter, Robyn, moved in full time again a few weeks ago. I believe she is here to stay for a long while. Robyn is finally settled in after a few weeks of playing “back-and-forth” between my husband’s mother’s home and ours! She was going back and forth because Robyn’s mother wanted her to spend her custody days with my husband’s mother. That didn’t work out well for several reasons, the other kids weren’t feeling it, Robyn wanted to be with her siblings, and well… other reasons!

Last time we tried having Robyn full time her mom only lasted a week and came and got her on her scheduled day with a police escort as if we’d object. (More about that here) I understand how hard it is to not see your baby daily, no matter how old the child is, but what’s right for the child is right for the child. I know this all too well in Renae’s case. Renae, too, lives with her dad most of the time this last year due to her high school’s location.

Issues at Hand

I’m not putting all of Robyn’s business out to internet land without her permission, but I will say she has made too many wrong choices and is on her way to making the correct choices to better what she has done in the last few months. We’ve changed her school to a great school who will not only keep an eye out on her but will instill the drive in her to want to continue on a successful road. We are constantly reminding her which path is the correct one, and standing by her with unconditional love. Her mom just so happens to live in an environment that is unhealthy for our baby. The neighborhood is not good and the mix of more freedom then she needs, it is a toxic environment for her.

A Good Day

I’m happy to say, her mom is picking her up today after school. They haven’t spent quality time together since the beginning of this month. This will be a great day for both of them. I’m sure they miss each other more then anything! This will give them both a sense of relief and will be a good start for a new beginning for Robyn. My heart goes out to her mom for making a big decision in regards to making Robyn’s situation a better one.

& You

Have you had to make a huge decision in hopes to better your family life? Please share by commenting below, it may help others to take a step in the right direction!

To stay updated on what happens next with getting Robyn on the right track subscribe to our updates by clicking here. Who knows, maybe Robyn will start writing to help other teens; she is a great writer (I wanted her to open her own fictional writing space, but she has been grounded from the computer)!

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Balloon Boy; All a Hoax?!

Posted 16 Oct 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Tidbits

balloon boyAs you know I struggled over this story yesterday of a young boy who was believed to be trapped in a balloon 7000 feet above the ground. You can read Lil’ Balloon Boy to see my tribulations. I even ridiculed myself a bit for thinking for once that he might deserve a spanking for hiding through all this. Come to find out he isn’t the one that needed the spanking… It’s the parents! Isn’t that the case most of the time?

Watch this video of the young boy telling his parents they told him to hide on the Larry King Live show. MSNBC provides us this footage in “New video shows balloon lift off”: click here

Then this video shows the dad saying a few bothering statements. One statement from dad was “we had no idea it was going to grow into something like that!” If it wasn’t a hoax you wouldn’t care. You would’ve wanted it to grow even more! Another statement by dad was that he doesn’t have cable so he didn’t realize how big this story was in the media. My reply to that, you don’t have time to watch it on TV, you are a storm chaser… Shouldn’t you be chasing the balloon?!

Here is the video from MSNBC “Was it a stunt? Balloon boy’s family speaks out”, sorry for ranting: click here

Thanks MSNBC for the footage! Friends, what do you think after watcing these videos? Please comment below and share this with those that were following the story. Thanks.
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Parenting Mistakes & My Poor Sinya

Posted 11 Oct 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Educates, Reed Tidbits

Family, neighbors and friends do me a HUGE favor!!! If your kids have been sick in the last 48 hours please don’t let my children come over for play, dont send your kids to my house for play, and “NO” I can’t watch your kids for a few minutes!

My dear, Sinya, has a 102.8 temperature. I felt bad for my neighbor’s kids because one of them slept over last night. I was worried my neighbor’s daughter would have caught it, being Sinya just showed signs of having it hours after playing with the neighbor’s daughter. I call my neighbor, low and behold, her son had a fever a few days ago! My daughter, and her daughter have been playing daily this week.

Had I known her son was sick, Sinya would’ve been home that day and not sick today. Lesson of today, parents need to tell their children’s playmates if their children are sick, and not let them interact together. If sickness develops after playtime, the playmates should be forewarned to watch for symptoms. Isn’t it always something?  

Note: Please wait at least 24 hours of being 100% better before sending your kids to school as well. Thank you!

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Separation Anxiety

Posted 04 Oct 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Tidbits
Yissie

Yissie

My dear Yissie, the two year old, stayed the night at her Auntie’s house last night. This is the first time I have been away from her overnight without reason. I say without reason because, once I went out of town for a few days to get Renae from Oregon for she was away for the month, and when her Auntie gave birth to my dear sweet niece I had stayed the night at the hospital with her and everyone else who was there.

What makes last night different then the other two times is that I had nothing to do, and was asleep in my bed, not elsewhere. When I’m at home and don’t hear her I feel a little empty, like I’m missing a big piece of me. I was a lil’ worried how she was going to handle her night out as well. Was she going to wake up looking for me? Would she have a potty accident since she is newly trained?

The night’s separation was harder for me then it was for her! I found out that she has me played! She wakes up several times a night to lay on me, or for a sippy cup refill, yes she sleeps with me. She didn’t wake up once at her Auntie’s house and she slept with her sister. Imagine that! I think it’s like that for most of us. Like when I sent my kids off to their first day of preschool, it was harder for me then for them. Is this natural? Us parents could be so strong, yet big ole’ sissy lalas when it comes to separation anxiety with our children. Yes, I admit it, I’m a big ole’ sissy lala!

I want her home NOW! She is still away, yet I’m thankful for the time I have away from the lil’ one. I got to rest. I slept well without her using me as a pillow, or feeling her foot stuck in my back. It was nice not to wake up to fill her sippy cup. I was able to take a really looonnnng shower because I didn’t have to rush for her. I went grocery shopping without her, and I have to admit it was nice to not have to secure her in her car seat. So, parents, a break is always good.

I might even have her sleep in her sister’s room going forward. We will see how that one goes, please wish me luck!

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No Break

Posted 02 Oct 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Tidbits

HouseworkI’m sitting here and its only 7pm. Im wore out today! Besides the fact my neighbor had an emergency, and I watched other ill’ ones today. I just realize that I get no break now that the husband is back at work. I’m glad he is back at work, dont get me wrong. The baby and I have our alone time, no need to make a huge breakfast, and I have complete control of the house while he is away. I thought I was doing it all before, I must not have been! I feel bad; I thought he didn’t do much when he was home at all. I thought I was doing EVERYTHING!

Now he is on his feet all day and up by 4am every morning, so I try to make things comfortable for him. A bit pathetic, but I dont even ask him to keep an eye on the baby for my showers. I fit them in while the baby is napping, and before the other kids are off to school.  I make sure dinner is done early, I dont ask him to make extra errands, make sure his lunch is prepared for the next day, make sure the house is tidy before he gets home from his hard days work, and make sure it’s picked up at night so that he doesn’t wake up to a mess. I just want him to sit down and rest.

His feet hurt most days, mostly because he isnt used to standing all day! He is tired when he gets home as well; it takes time to get used to an early schedule. I assume I can get little breaks in again once he is settled with his new job. I miss my quick trips to the gym, my walk over to the neighbors, and quick trips to my dads without the kids, even though they were few trips I made. I could make them leisurely without worrying about the husband on overload due to my break from the task of taking care of house! I believe all will be back on track for my “me” time, even if it’s 15 minutes here or there, soon! A few weeks maybe?!

At home parents, how do you cope, and how to you make things pleasant for the working parent? Please share with comments.

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