Posts Tagged ‘parenting’

5 Great Stepparenting Resources

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Posted 20 Dec 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Educates
Five of the Kids 2006

Five of the Kids 2006

Being in a blended family can be tough to say the least. The Reed family is a mixture of “His, Hers & Ours.” The husband had two kids before we met, I had one, and we have three together. I thought it would be easy having a blended family because I treat the kids according to their behavior not whose blood runs within them. As they grow up, however, it seems things get more chaotic. The children pick up habits from us, and test their boundaries often enough. 

Maybe I’m saying too much in this post, but this is my true feelings and my true struggles that many have and I would like to reach out to them…

My husband struggles a bit with my oldest daughter, which causes struggles for the whole house. His struggles may be a personality clash and a blended family issue. He’s been in her life since she was two, so I’d like to think the issue is more a personality clash. I haven’t figured it completely out. Sadly, he isnt into the counseling thing, nor is he the type to search out resources for the answer.

I haven’t quite decided how to fix this, but it is worsening and I reached out for help by finding quality resources that could help me understand, help me be patient, and to help me not get hooked in and stay centered to fix the issue if it’s possible to fix.

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m no angel. Since the issues have been more obvious I have a fit when the husband doesn’t realize when the other kids are having the same mannerism that he only corrects when Renae does these things. Maybe he expects more from her because she is oldest… Still unsure, but I found resources to help myself and other blended families alike:

  1. Stepparenting - strategies for stepparents, stepparents and discipline, stepchildren, communicating and bonding with stepchildren, combing families, the ex and extended families, making a happy home, holidays and special events, legal aspects of stepparenting, expert advise, and much more.
  2. The Parent Report (Stepparenting Successfully) – A stepparenting forum. Talk to other parents like you.
  3. Step Talk – Another great forum for stepparents.
  4. Stepparenting from iVillage – Many articles that can help.
  5. Family Corner – Articles, articles, and more

I hope these helped you as much as they help me. I will send more your way as I find useful stepparenting resources. Any resources you know we should all be reading please post a comment below. Thanks a ton.

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Renae’s Midlife Crisis & The World Strictest Parents

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Posted 03 Nov 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Reed Tidbits

RenaeThe diva, Renae, gets bent out of shape easily these days. She is 14 and sometimes a handful! My chief complaint is her negative attitude and her mood swings. I’m blessed to say the least, I have no worry about boys (even though she is a bit boy crazy) or drugs… she knows what she wants and it’s not that!

She sits here and tells me how hard her life is. Her chief complaints: keeping grades up, being disorganized, pleasing her dad, making me happy, being grounded, having her phone taken away from her for punishment, and dealing with siblings! I understand. I take nothing from her difficult teenage years.

Her mood swings are sometimes stressful. I can deal with it, but it’s not always easy. I sometimes spend more time teaching her and scolding her then I do the other kids all week. Don’t get me wrong, we cuddle all weekend as well. She, at six feet tall, lays on me as if she is still two years old. We snuggle, rough house, and just plain goof off quite often. So the good times roll in as well as the tough ones!

Anyhow, I’m sitting back tonight watching The World Strictest Parents on MTV! Oh cool, I should send her there. This is a show where unruly teens go for a week to be parented by this family that is so-called strict, and then the teen learns lessons and goes home a bit more structured. But, nope, won’t work! She is an angel at other people’s homes. It takes months or even years to see this midlife crisis diva moment like behavior. (I call it that because she has so much emotion at age 14, I believe she will skip right over the real hard times… midlife crisis, and menopause will be nothing for her I’m sure. A breeze to say the least)!

So I guess I have to buckle up! I find myself trying to enjoy the few days I have with her (remember she lives with her dad now), and I go easy on her. Before she lived with her dad I was on top of it more so, but slacked often enough. I created her monstrous like behavior and her greatness in one way or another, through encouragement or lack of discipline. All is my fault and I get it! She will be an adult in four years, ouch! Time to buckle up and make her accountable for all things. Boy isn’t this going to be fun!

Who has teens here, any tips to make it easier? When does this phase go away? Does it get better? Please share by commenting below, thank you!

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Negativity

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Posted 12 Oct 2009 — by Jennifer
Category Self Awareness

41FACDE4BGL__SL160_Our self awareness series will take on another voice today, Anne Wilson Schaef wrote a daybook called “Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much,” I’d like to go over her October 12th entry “Confused Thinking/Judgementalism.” 

I realize what a lot of negativity there is in the world and all around us and how easy it is to become part of that negativity and to be sucked into it and become part of the chaos and confusion if one isn’t very careful. – Eileen Caddy

The above Shaef quotes and explains how easy it is to get sucked into negativity, and in being judgmental. At the workplace we are taught to look for error, and to make change. In working day to day we’re “rewarded for analyzing, comparing, criticizing, and being negative.”

How do we break the cycle, and stop just at that? Analyzing and comparing is one thing, judging is another. When we lose sight and become judgmental of people or things, we are now biased and have lost complete focus of the job at hand.

This happens at home as well. What we see daily in the news, in our homes, or right out our front door, that site can be a lesson by analyzing and comparing the situation. We lose the lesson in our observation when we judge. Not only do we lose focus, we also look like big idiots.

I find myself getting too involved and getting reeled into garbage as well. In regards to my daughter getting sick (Parenting Mistakes & My Poor Sinya), I vented a bit, and was a bit judgmental. Not so bad that I called out any one’s name in a bad manner, but I was frustrated enough. I should’ve just taken the incident for what it is, some people just don’t know better, and kids get sick. Oh well, keep it moving. See, as I said, we all get too involved one way or another. We need to be aware is all, and bring things back into perspective.

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    Parenting Mistakes & My Poor Sinya

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    Posted 11 Oct 2009 — by Jennifer
    Category Reed Educates, Reed Tidbits

    Family, neighbors and friends do me a HUGE favor!!! If your kids have been sick in the last 48 hours please don’t let my children come over for play, dont send your kids to my house for play, and “NO” I can’t watch your kids for a few minutes!

    My dear, Sinya, has a 102.8 temperature. I felt bad for my neighbor’s kids because one of them slept over last night. I was worried my neighbor’s daughter would have caught it, being Sinya just showed signs of having it hours after playing with the neighbor’s daughter. I call my neighbor, low and behold, her son had a fever a few days ago! My daughter, and her daughter have been playing daily this week.

    Had I known her son was sick, Sinya would’ve been home that day and not sick today. Lesson of today, parents need to tell their children’s playmates if their children are sick, and not let them interact together. If sickness develops after playtime, the playmates should be forewarned to watch for symptoms. Isn’t it always something?  

    Note: Please wait at least 24 hours of being 100% better before sending your kids to school as well. Thank you!

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    Join me at Cafemom

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    Posted 29 Sep 2009 — by Jennifer
    Category Entertainment, Reed Reviews

    I’m loving cafemom’s website! Read More

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    Whoopi & Kate Goselin; Who’s Right?

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    Posted 23 Sep 2009 — by Jennifer
    Category Reed Tidbits
    YouTube Preview Image

    If the video isn’t working click here.

    Whoopi & Kate Goselin; Who’s Right? Neither of them is right in my opinion!

    Simply put, Whoopi must know in some circumstances, taking a stand is the right thing to do in regards to your children, law or not! That’s how laws are changed. Kate must know her children weren’t endangered. This is not a situation where you take a stand!

    Living in a blended family, there are times when the other parent should step in. Sometimes both parents disagree, or the other parent has no clue the facts at hand!

    Example of taking a stand when unnecessary, my daughter, Robyn has been going through things normal 13 year old girls don’t go through. Both parents agreed she live in our home until these issues subside. Not even a week into this new arrangement, her mom shows up with the police to come get Robyn. I’m still clueless why she brought the police or why she came at all. Her mother only needed to say that she had a change of heart, and we would’ve worked it out without the police. This was a moment in time that taking a stand was ridicules. More on this click here.

    Example of properly taking a stand, years ago, I received a phone call from my daughter, Renae. She and her step mother at the time were screaming at each other like grown women. In speaking with her step mother, I couldn’t calm her down, but was able to calm my child. Renae expressed to me that her step mother was being a bit violent, scratched up her arm, and had lifted her up off of the ground (reminder Renae is tall). I jumped in my car and went to go get her, her father was at work. He was not angry at all. Later they split up, but just after this incident, her step mother seeked parenting classes.  

    There you have it! I want your opinion on Whoopi and Kate’s debate? Do you think Kate should’ve interrupted his parenting time, because she didn’t choose the babysitter that he chose? Maybe the stance is really that he shouldnt have women around the children so soon! What’s your stance on this. Please share with comments.

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    Potty Dilemma

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    Posted 18 Aug 2009 — by Jennifer
    Category Reed Tidbits

    IMG00340Potty training has been going well. In prior post, I explained my methods.

    Now I’m stumped… I know I shouldn’t be stumped. I have a handful of children; they were easier to potty train though. Each child is different, so they say. Due to Yissie having this ”mind of her own”, we aren’t 100% with our potty training efforts. Here is my dilemma…

    She doesn’t want to “Boo” in the potty. She seems scared to go. She will ”Pee” in the potty all day long, besides nap and bed time (we are still using diapers during those times).

    So, I look to my readers… How did you get your ”scaredy cat” to handle “all” their business in the potty? I want to hear your tips, please comment below.


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    Potty Like A Rockstar

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    Posted 12 Aug 2009 — by Jennifer
    Category Reed Tidbits
    Yissie on the potty

    Yissie on the potty

    My baby, Yissie, went potty without hesitation twice today. All it took was a lil funk, blues, and some baby potty songs. I’m so happy for her.

    Her norm is to sit there for an hour or two, and complain of her tummy hurting. Then, mommy feels bad, puts her diaper back on so she can relieve her tummy!

    Not today! We woke up and played potty videos from You Tube for a few hours. She had to go potty, and went within 5 minutes. Her treat was to go to the park.

    Park Treat

    Park Treat

    Then…  She let me know within the hour she had to go potty again. We rushed home, and she went potty right away. A brownie was her treat this time.

    So if nothing works, go to You Tube! These were her favorite videos below…

     

      Read More

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