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Look at the goofball in the back!
What an eventful day we had today, in celebration of Robyn turning the “BIG One Four” the teen girls and I went shopping! I’m wore out, and I’m close to broke. Teen girls and shopping, what a mess! A few years back we started this, “I wanna go shopping for my birthday” deal! Now I’m getting older and they are getting older, I just don’t know if this works well anymore. I’m wore out big time and teens aren’t cheap!
We started our day with brainstorming the days events. Do we put money in a savings account for Robyn, do we go to the movies, do we shop till we drop? The older girls, both 14, and I decided just to get going and see what happens. We’re driving to the mall and decide to look for a nice used acoustic guitar for Robyn. We didn’t find one we liked in our price range so off to Walmart. Looking around we decide nothing fancies Robyn’s attention. Off to the mall we go! Eeeek!
Robyn wants Panda Express at the food court in the mall, we call it fake Chinese food, because it’s not quite as good as the real deal. Imagine this… I ate a tofu eggplant dish from there and it was yummy! Oh wow, lookie here! I spot a friend whom I call Baby Phat… She is known to wear all things Baby Phat! She couldn’t believe how big the girls got and went on to tell me she had another baby and was in awe that I had one too (a whole 2 1/2 years ago… I really need to talk to my friends more often SHESHHH!). She can’t believe how tall Renae is at 6 ft and tells me her sister designs clothes and needs models. She wants Renae and lectured me for not getting her in modeling sooner. Tisk Tisk! Sounds fun, Yay!
She looks so serious but she's NOT!
We get to shopping and Robyn is grabbing all kinds of trinkets and things… suspenders, a ring that looks like vampires teeth, a necklace with little handcuffs on them, fish net gloves, a really cute beenie with a fuzzy knob on top and hanging ears… the list goes on and on. She sounds a mess I know but it really is all so cute. Then we hit up Juicy Couture, as if I’d really buy them something out of there. Robyn about has a heart attack when she sees a shirt marked on sale for $198.00 or something in that range. The store clerk advises her that she feels the same way and laughs with her. Too funny.
Now dad is calling, my husband, he lectures that she needs to be looking for clothes and get to the clothes store. We cheat because we spent so much on trinkets and things… we hit up Factory2U and DD’s Discounts to appease him, she made out with a gang of cute shirts and two pairs of skinny jeans. Who knew acid wash jeans with zippers and bows in the backs of pant legs would be back in style. Woot Woot!
Six hours later it’s time to pick the younger girls up from Papa’s house and I know the boys are waiting for me impatiently because I really have no life and take them every where I go. I swoop up and grab the boys from home headed to Papa’s house to get the lil’ ones we run into traffic at 6:30pm-ish on a Saturday. Some weird power outage…hmmm! We finally make it to his house and visit for a few… then I take JR and Robyn to their moms and make it back home. Safe, sound, and sleepy but here blogging!
Teens, moms, and shopping… How do we do it?
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Christmas is over, and now it’s time to reflect on the holiday lessons that we may have been given. As I’ve stated before, the Reeds are very casual about the holidays. We get together, cook, and eat good food! That is our usual and it works out quite well. Now I do usually get carried away with gift buying. I get excited shopping for the kids, knowing there will be a great shock upon their face if I get them that perfect gift.
This year the Reed family kept it very frugal. Sometimes you have it and sometimes you just dont. My kids are used to the “maybes” on birthdays, but on Christmas they usually know there will be tons of presents. I was heartbroken knowing I cant do for them our usual. I just knew when they seen only one or two presents each under the tree they’d be saddened.
Robyn and Yissie
I was completely wrong, I did something right in raising them I suppose. They told me all was okay once they realized that there wasn’t much under the tree. Then after opening their presents, they were playing with their present as if they had many. The teens were quiet all day with their new mp3 player attached to their heads. The boys played all day with their lil’ bug looking remote control helicopters, don’t know who liked them more, their uncle or them. The younger girls played with their toys together. They didn’t complain once.
The holiday lesson here is that we put too much and hold too much weight on what we think is right. What has been right to me, going broke over Christmas, wasn’t what mattered to my children. Going forward I could probably save money on the holidays, and I now realize the kids will be just as happy with a few presents a piece or with a ship load of presents. Christmas was no different with less gifts, and I truly underestimated how much my children appreciate things for what they are. I’m thankful and blessed to have the family that I have.
What are you most thankful for? Please share with our readers by commenting below.
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When I first started blogging my goal was to have my whole family blog: myself, the husband, teens, kids! That didn’t happen. The family wasn’t as on top of things as me, and had no real fire or passion to make Reed What Matters’ blog a family affair.
Things are changing, I have a few of my family members that love to write and they want to be involved as I once hoped for. How can I deny them releasing their creative side on our family blog?
So… the kids you keep hearing about will be writing about what matters to them! Please welcome them with comments as you do me. Please encourage your kids or teens to read their articles. Reed What Matters’ blog is always kid friendly. Soon we will offer entertainment and tools that are of their interest. My original plans are coming to be. I’m very excited.
To keep things organized, for the time being, you will see “Kid Corner” or “Teen Corner” in front of their post. Soon there will be a special spot just for them. Thank you friends.
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My son has a series of field trips to go to, all to the same place, how exciting I thought to myself. I paid for it last week and signed my son’s life away as we parents do with all their school field trips. Seemed like some exciting trips. Not just one, but many field trips! The destination must have great lessons in store for my son.
Today I get a new form to fill out… Now I’m really to sign my son’s life away (see below):
I hope that isn’t too blurry for you (I bleeped out the destination’s name for their protection I suppose)… basically this disclosure says that if my son dies or gets injured I don’t hold anyone responsible, although if my son destroys something during this field trip I’m held responsible! Come on now! He can die on their watch and it’s all good, but if he destroys something on their watch it’s not. What a mess!
Of course, I didn’t sign his life away. I permitted him to go and noted that if the activity can cause death that he must sit out!!! So what if he misses out on the good stuff. I can’t send him out to do the unknowing. ”Here my son, go do these activities that I read my cause you death!”
Am I over reacting? I think not, but who knows. I understand we can die from car accidents, or from strange occurrences… but these are the unknown. I don’t sign a waiver everytime my kids get in a car or partake in a sport activity, because relativity these activities are meant to be safe. But this field trip is another story, they know the activities may be dangerous. I’m a ninny I agree, but this is too much for a regular parent perhaps. I sign forms like this when Renae is going under anesthesia for surgery. I get that, but this!
Parents what do you think? Would you sign this form or handle things the way I did? Please comment below because I really want to know what you would do after reading this field trip injury/death disclosure.
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Train your child in the way in which you know you should have gone yourself – C.H. Spurgeon
I was reading a book that I open from time to time, God’s Little Devotional book for Moms, and I ran across that quote and an interesting passage. This passage speaks of two streams at the highest point in the Rocky Mountains. These two streams are neighbors practically… it is said that it would be easy to change the course to either stream to join each other. But, in changing the course of the stream a water source would be lost. These two streams so close together, one leads to the Gulf of Mexico and one leads to the Pacific Ocean. So close yet two separate, purposeful, and divine routes.
My reason for bringing this up is this… making it right early on. These streams have a route and a purposeful route at that. We need to guide our children down the right route… or at least a route that is purposeful. “If you want to impact the course of life… starts at birth!” We need to shape our lil’ ones and guide them remembering they’re an individual and may be like that stream… with a divine purpose to steer left instead of right. We, as parents, just need to make sure it’s a purposeful route and not one of destruction.
I really hope this passage has helped someone with their own circumstance. I have children, sure their dreams and aspirations aren’t always what I want or see them as… but their dreams are purposeful so I must back off a bit. If you found this article helpful please subscribe to our updates by clicking here.
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The diva, Renae, gets bent out of shape easily these days. She is 14 and sometimes a handful! My chief complaint is her negative attitude and her mood swings. I’m blessed to say the least, I have no worry about boys (even though she is a bit boy crazy) or drugs… she knows what she wants and it’s not that!
She sits here and tells me how hard her life is. Her chief complaints: keeping grades up, being disorganized, pleasing her dad, making me happy, being grounded, having her phone taken away from her for punishment, and dealing with siblings! I understand. I take nothing from her difficult teenage years.
Her mood swings are sometimes stressful. I can deal with it, but it’s not always easy. I sometimes spend more time teaching her and scolding her then I do the other kids all week. Don’t get me wrong, we cuddle all weekend as well. She, at six feet tall, lays on me as if she is still two years old. We snuggle, rough house, and just plain goof off quite often. So the good times roll in as well as the tough ones!
Anyhow, I’m sitting back tonight watching The World Strictest Parents on MTV! Oh cool, I should send her there. This is a show where unruly teens go for a week to be parented by this family that is so-called strict, and then the teen learns lessons and goes home a bit more structured. But, nope, won’t work! She is an angel at other people’s homes. It takes months or even years to see this midlife crisis diva moment like behavior. (I call it that because she has so much emotion at age 14, I believe she will skip right over the real hard times… midlife crisis, and menopause will be nothing for her I’m sure. A breeze to say the least)!
So I guess I have to buckle up! I find myself trying to enjoy the few days I have with her (remember she lives with her dad now), and I go easy on her. Before she lived with her dad I was on top of it more so, but slacked often enough. I created her monstrous like behavior and her greatness in one way or another, through encouragement or lack of discipline. All is my fault and I get it! She will be an adult in four years, ouch! Time to buckle up and make her accountable for all things. Boy isn’t this going to be fun!
Who has teens here, any tips to make it easier? When does this phase go away? Does it get better? Please share by commenting below, thank you!
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I’ve been missing a few too many days. My apologies…
Family has been keeping me busy, with thought and change, this last week.
My 13 year old step-daughter, Robyn, moved in full time, and has needed some extra love and attention. Family always comes first. I had to put my passions to the back burner temporarily.
Well, Robyn is settling in fine, of course its not as much of a break, as it is with her mom. She has no freedom due to recent choices she has made, and we are known to give less freedom then the average parent anyhow. We are filling her up with love and good thoughts, in hopes to get her through all that she is going through.
My ladybird, Robyn, reading poolside
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I have two teenage girls, the younger has a steady boyfriend and the older knows boys aren’t good for her at her age and maturity level.
My younger teen, who prefers to be called Robyn, has had a boyfriend since February or so. She was barely 13 years old when she started “dating”, she is my step daughter. I rarely mention that she is my step child, I love her as my own, however, she has two homes and their are different rules to each house. Having different rules, has lead to this issue of dating so young.
My main concerns of her dating so young, besides the obvious, this boy is 17 years old, and according to his myspace; he smokes weed, is sexually active, gang affiliated and drinks alcohol often.
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