Posts Tagged ‘awareness series’

Accepting Compliments

Nowadays we are all of us so hard up that the only pleasant things to pay are compliments. – Oscar Wilde

Our self awareness series discusses the entry by Sarah Ban Breathnach for October 19th, in her book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy quotes the above statement.

We all love to hear compliments. I once told my husband that I felt like I was his cancer. Not that he has cancer, just that I felt that I meant to him what cancer would feel like to him had he had cancer. Bold statement, I know!

I only felt this bad because he would focus on the negative. Some people just get things done that way. I tend to focus on positives. Hearing what you do wrong all day isn’t a walk in the park. I don’t want to hear negative if you have anything positive to say. If you provide both then we can talk.

With that said, is this his fault? Breathnach reminds us that we often let people know we don’t want compliments.

Husband: Your hair looks nice!
Wife: Not really, I spent 45 minutes on it…

Friend: You’re so sweet to me!
Self: Not really, I like doing stuff like this.

Just say thank you when a compliment is given to you. Goodness! When we don’t accept compliments from those that give them to us, people decide you don’t want the compliment. Then you’re sitting up somewhere in a bad mood wondering why people don’t acknowledge all that you do for them.

They love you and very thankful for you, I’m sure of it. Sometimes we just make it harder for others to show us. Accept compliments and give them often, daily even! You should see a difference in your attitude and others around you.

Who are you thankful for and why? Can you pay them a compliment today?!

Note:

  • If you enjoyed this post, you can find the rest of our Self Awareness series by clicking here.
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Our Dark Shadows

I have a little shadow that goes in and out of me. And what can be the use of [her] is more than I can see. – Robert Louis Stevenson

Our self awareness series discusses the entry by Sarah Ban Breathnach for October 13th, in her book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy quotes the above statement.

Breathnach explains to her readers that these shadows could very well be our “uglies” or our bad behaviors. These behaviors usually mask something great, our authentic selves. She further explains that we should let our bad behaviors come out to play a little here and there, so that these behaviors are understood by us and don’t take us by surprise later. We can use these behaviors as tools to better understand ourselves.

In letting your ”ugly” behaviors out, be careful to not let them all put on a show at once. I’ve seen many do just that and not realize it or feel remorse later. I have let all my bad behaviors out at once a few times in my lifetime as well. I’m truly sorry to those that have experienced all these shadows or bad behaviors of mine. I’ve broken a heart or two showing all the ugliness I had inside and forgetting beauty does shine within. I truly feel bad but forgive myself, I’ve learned more about who I am through this dark part of my life.

That is all you can do, forgive yourself and remember the lesson it has taught you about yourself. Know what you are capable of, make sure you dont repeat these bad behaviors in such an ugly way. Be you, but be well. Again, these “shadows” we all possess should only come out little by little. We are, by nature, good people. When we let all these “shadows” out at once, we dont look so nice.

In a nut shell, know you for you, the good, the bad, and the ugly! Embrace you, and love your authentic self.  

  • You can find the rest of our Self Awareness series by clicking here.
  • I know this is going to be a powerful series, I strongly encourage you to subscribe to our updates via email or feed reader by clicking here.
  • To purchase this book at a low price: Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy.
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    Negativity

    41FACDE4BGL__SL160_Our self awareness series will take on another voice today, Anne Wilson Schaef wrote a daybook called “Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much,” I’d like to go over her October 12th entry “Confused Thinking/Judgementalism.” 

    I realize what a lot of negativity there is in the world and all around us and how easy it is to become part of that negativity and to be sucked into it and become part of the chaos and confusion if one isn’t very careful. – Eileen Caddy

    The above Shaef quotes and explains how easy it is to get sucked into negativity, and in being judgmental. At the workplace we are taught to look for error, and to make change. In working day to day we’re “rewarded for analyzing, comparing, criticizing, and being negative.”

    How do we break the cycle, and stop just at that? Analyzing and comparing is one thing, judging is another. When we lose sight and become judgmental of people or things, we are now biased and have lost complete focus of the job at hand.

    This happens at home as well. What we see daily in the news, in our homes, or right out our front door, that site can be a lesson by analyzing and comparing the situation. We lose the lesson in our observation when we judge. Not only do we lose focus, we also look like big idiots.

    I find myself getting too involved and getting reeled into garbage as well. In regards to my daughter getting sick (Parenting Mistakes & My Poor Sinya), I vented a bit, and was a bit judgmental. Not so bad that I called out any one’s name in a bad manner, but I was frustrated enough. I should’ve just taken the incident for what it is, some people just don’t know better, and kids get sick. Oh well, keep it moving. See, as I said, we all get too involved one way or another. We need to be aware is all, and bring things back into perspective.

    Note:

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    It’s Always Something

    11227682_0f70b4e1d9Isn’t it always something? Even on the best of days, there is that unpaid bill, lack of time, a headache! Whatever it is be thankful that it’s just an issue, and not a crisis. Even the most well put together people have an issue or two that they can talk about. What would be life without a tribulation now and again? Where would we get our lessons from if there wasn’t a mishap here and there?

    Our self awareness series entry by Sarah Ban Breathnach for October 11th, in her book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy speaks of there always being something that we can complain of. She speaks on a greater note; however, being thankful your complaints are only issues and not a crisis. Too many people start living for their true passions once a crisis hits. The crisis can be a health issue, a death in the family, a complete turnover on financial status, homelessness, anything that is life changing.

    I know this pretty well, I didn’t get back into writing until recently. I had to be home from work with health issues to start writing again. I used to write poetry when Renae was small, about twelve years ago. Why did I stop? Where did I lose my authentic self?

    This book was given to me by my sister in law about 5-6 years ago. The excerpt reads, “Jen, You are sunshine – do what you are meant to do! -shine- :) , D’Jne” She seen it, I had lost something. She told me one day, when I walked through the room I had a glow about me, this glow made the room brighter which made others happy. She told me I was lacking that! My husband said the same thing in other words about a year ago.

    These are questions we must ask! I ask all of you to please not forget who you are! Look in the mirror and bring your authentic self back. What pleases you? What makes you the person that defines wholeness? What are you missing?

    It may always be something, but it could be worse so please find who you lost, or if you haven’t lost yourself keep you alive. SHINE!

  • You can find the rest of our Self Awareness series by clicking here.
  • I know this is going to be a powerful series, I strongly encourage you to subscribe to our updates via email or feed reader by clicking here.
  • To purchase this book at a low price: Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy.
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    10 Ways to Cope with Stress

    “In this world without quiet corners, there can be no easy escapes…from hullabaloo, from terrible, unquiet fuss. – Salman Rushdie

    Our self awareness series entry by Sarah Ban Breathnach for October 9th, in her book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy quotes the above statement.

    I must say, today would be the day I wish you had the book in front of you! Breathnach’s list of ways to relieve stress goes on and on… (on and on in a good way)!

    Here are a few of my favorite ways to cope with stress on Breathnach’s list along with my jibber jabbering dissection of some of her tips:

    1. Keep it simple – We create much of the stress around us. Simplify your duties and you will avoid much stress.
    2. Go to bed at nine o’clock at least twice a week – I find myself staying up late researching ways to better Reed What Matters or by networking on twitter. If I go to sleep early a few nights a week I can handle this, if I stay up late each night I’m a walking zombie by the end of the week. Overworking yourself is bad for your family, your business, and your soul.
    3. Keep your house picked up – To wake up to an orderly house, what a joy! This is harder if you have a large family, but it can be done. Have the kids pick up their mess before bed, and you hurry to get the dishes done, wipe your counters down, and clear your table. Even those few tasks will make a huge difference in your home.
    4. Stop trying to please everybody – I’m not going to say this again, we’ve went over this! You can try to please all to only please few, because they don’t have you whole. Don’t spread yourself out to thin. Better to be you and just displease a few!
    5. Start pleasing yourself – Don’t forget about you! If you are happy and well taken care of you will then be able to help others around you. A whole person can better help one who needs healing.
    6. Stay away from negative people – I have negative people in my life, don’t get me wrong. I love all my family and friends unconditionally but know them for who they are, positive and negative. Keep the negative people and the bad apples at a distance, but still love them all the same!
    7. Approach problems as challenges – I feel most liberated when bad news or big issues hits me in the face, and I conquer it! I say, “Take that, and NEXT!” Keep it moving!
    8. Savor beauty – What is positive in your life? What do you see when you walk out the door? When I walk out the door, I don’t see the ugly apartment buildings that surround me. I see the nicely shaped bushes, flowers, the leaf blowing in the wind, the rain puddles, or the big blue sky (depending on the weather). See the good and turn away from the bad!
    9. Create boundaries – Know when too far is too far, and when far enough is far enough! Keep your dignity and be you my friends!
    10. Search for your authentic self until you find her/him – Do you know who you are? Sure, you know what you like, what you don’t like, and what you do for a living, but do you know the true beauty and wisdom you possess. Do you know you? Find you!

    I hope these tips helped.  I know I write or talk a lot. That’s part of my authentic self. I learned to embrace my jibber jabber.

    If you have any tips for coping with stress, or making the day easier so stress doesn’t show up for the day please comment below. We all need pointers here!

  • To purchase this book at a low price: Simple Abundance: A Daybook of Comfort of Joy.
  • To view the beginning of our series, Simple Abundance; Starting the Journey Today, click here.
  • You can find the rest of out Self Awareness series by clicking here.
  • I know this is going to be a powerful series, I strongly encourage you to subscribe to our updates via email or feed reader by clicking here.
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    “A Passion For Beauty”

    Roses my husband gave to me

    Beauty: Roses my husband gave to me

      Beauty is an ecstasy; it is as simple as hunger – W. Somerset Maugham

    Our self awareness series entry by Sarah Ban Breathnach for October 8th, in her book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy quotes the above statement.

    Breathnach speaks about her venture with realizing the true beauty around her. She spots this book full of beautiful things. She wants this book badly, but it’s not affordable at the $45 price tag it came with. She felt down, not because the book wasn’t in her budget, but because she forgot about the simple beauties that are around us each day. She reminds us how beautiful free and inexpensive things can be.

    This experience holds true, last week my sister in-law dragged me out of the house to buy some used books. I bought this book, God’s Little Devotional Book for Moms, only because the sheer beauty of the cover and pages. The cover is full of roses, and the pages are all pink. The words in the book jump out to you in a bold black with a cream backdrop. Opening the book makes me feel like I’m in a rose garden. I haven’t even read the book yet, but its pretty to say the least.

    I remember when I was a young adult I took a small end table near my bed, placed cut outs of beautiful things on top of the table. On top of these pretty things I placed a piece of fitted glass so that my things stayed in place. On top of the glass were little knick knacks that I took pride in, a book of quotes and poems that I wrote along with a vase filled with wild flowers. I would peer over at this table when I needed a pick me up.

    I’m hoping each of you will find beauty around you, it’s the simple things that really matter! Where do you find beauty? And what does beauty mean to you?

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    “Learning to Create Boundaries”

    “Before I built a wall I’d ask to know what I was walling in or walling out. -  Robert Frost

    Our self awareness series entry by Sarah Ban Breathnach for October 7th, in her book, Simple Abundance, A Daybook of Comfort and Joy quotes the above statement.

    Breathnach really digs in deep teaching each of us to set boundaries by speaking up and reminding us that the word “no” is okay to use. She states in regards to using the word “no”, that it’s a responsibility we hold to ourselves to take a stand. If we take on tasks that “rob us of our inner joy” we may distract ourselves from our original purpose. She explains further that it is quite okay for others to say “no” to us as well. We should be happy that they are using their empowerment and in doing so they can “discover more fully their own truth of their own path.” 

    I’m not saying don’t do anything for anybody if it doesn’t bring you joy. Helping others and seeing how happy they are for your kind act can bring you joy in itself. What is important is that you don’t rob yourself of your passions or of your dignity in doing something for another or in doing something for yourself for the wrong reasons.

    I have never had an issue with speaking up for myself as a teen or an adult. I’m very outspoken, and make sure I get my point across as long I do my best to state my ground in a respectful manner. Even though I speak up well enough, I do have issues with setting boundaries for two reasons.

    • Sometimes I’m unsure that a boundary should have been set – I step over the line and have to remind myself I’ve gone too far, and then create a boundary for future use.
    • I’m a people pleaser – I like to make sure everyone is happy and wear myself too thin trying to please all. You can never please everyone. Matter of a fact, if you wear yourself too thin trying to please everyone, now many are unhappy with you because they don’t have you whole. You have to ask yourself, do you lose yourself trying to please all, or do you just be yourself all the while displeasing a just a few?

    Today’s entry has taught me more about myself. I’d like to know what boundaries you have, or what boundaries you know you should set for your sake of sanity? Please share below by commenting. If you are a boundary setting expert please share. Many of us can use a few pointers here. Thank you.

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